[4:18 PM] Hey everyone, check out my new quiz!


That's Right. Everyone. You're just not a well
liked character.


Who's Out To Getcha (Illustrated)
brought to you by Quizilla

That's all. Really. For now.
bye.

[2:49 AM] Hey everyone, this is just a post to tell you about my first Quizilla Quiz.
I've never done a Quizilla Quiz before, so please check it out and give me some feedback. I think it's hella cool. But that's just my very humble opinion.

Anyways, it's officially my b-day now.
I'm not sure that really means anything...
not when you compare it to a week later when Jaimee and I started dating. That's the supersweet day. (grin) I guess that's also a much more private day. Yes...

anyways, I'm off to bed...byebye world...
and remember... take my Quizilla Quiz.

[11:03 PM] Current Song: Teardrop - Massive Attack feat. E. Fraser
Current Mood: Relaxed... more or less...

Jaimee bleached her bangs today. She let them soak in the solution for a full hour, and they turned from dark red to orange. Actually, up near the top, they're white, and they fade all the way down to a medium red by the time they get to the tips. It's cool.

I, while this was occuring, was making miniature walls out of sculpey. I've gotten 3 done so far, and it's getting easier. My father has offered to buy me a set to make molds with, so that I can construct the walls and then clone them out of resin. That'll be sweet.

After our mutual projects, we settled down with my brother and his friend to watch "Last Exile". It's an Anime that features Airships and steam-powered muskets. We saw the first four episodes, and, true to the nature of Anime, it's confusing as fuck. They've only begun to hint at the overriding storyline, and it looks like it's going to be an epic. Epics are fun, especially when they're violent. This one is ok.

And that, my friends, is Joe's day off. Relax Relax Relax.

I'm still wearing my sleeping pants, and it's almost time to go back to bed.
That being said, I think I've had a pretty good day.
all in all...

byebye now

[10:14 AM] Current Song: All the things she said - t.A.T.u
Current Mood: "all the things she said, all the things she said, running through my head, running through my head..."

I'm convinced that song's about mind control. They're trying to take over. You just wait. Soon t.A.T.u will be running the world. There's a conspiracy for you.

ok, starting over.

Current Song: Calling - Leonna Naess
Current Mood: content...and tired...

I need to take a moment to compliment Sirens of Song. They put out an all-female stream on Live365 that's very good. They play a lot of songs that I enjoy, from very skilled artists. Through them I've discovered more than a few bands that I've come to really like. They also play t.A.T.u, but that's between them and Satan, as far as I'm concerned. However, in my very humble opinion, a normal radio station plays about 1% great music, 4% good music, 20% ok music, and 75% shit. Sirens of Song plays about 5% great music, 15% good music, 45% ok music, and 35% shit. I like that.

Anyways, enough ranting. Last time I ranted so much that I was late getting home. No more being late.

Just one more thing to tell you about.
My friend Lissa takes a lot of surveys. Some of them are silly. Some of them are dumb. Occasionally, she finds one that's really a lot of fun. Then I take it. I'm putting together a list of my answers to various quizzes. That page will be up later.

For now, though, here's the latest one:


The Dante's Inferno Test has banished Joe to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how Joe matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

[10:30 PM] Current Song: Hell Is Around The Corner - Tricky
Current Mood: dunno. Ok, I guess.

So, if you were having trouble reading this blog due to font troubles, I welcome you to the fixed (crosses fingers) blog. We altered the order in which fonts are displayed, so everyone out there in webland may hopefully be able to read it.

So Netscape 7.1 doesn't work on my machine any longer. Windows crashed, and crashed hard. It crashed so hard that it lost all it's system files. After an hour of getting to remember it's pieces/parts, I find that Netscape simply doesn't work. I reinstall it, but no luck. I delete it, then reinstall it. Still no luck. I delete it and manually remove the directories, then I reinstall it. Still no. I walk away, ready to hit my computer.

So anyways, now I'm going with mozilla 1.6... and man, it rocks. It's so fast! no frills or anything. I love it.

Jaimee's dying her hair. Well, she's bleaching it first, then she's dying it. She's aiming to look like Rogue from X-men. At least, she's aiming to look like one of the cool drawings of Rogue from X-men. Which is neat. But because we ran all the way out to fort union to get her materials, and because I was struggling with netscape for a long time, and because I played Burnout2 with my brother, I actually haven't gotten anything done. I hate not getting anything done...

Bah, I have homework to do. No more time for blogging. Back to the real world. Stupid real world.

with love, peace, and nachos,

[9:59 AM] Current Song: Above the Clouds - Delerium f/Shelly Harland
Current Mood: Sick sick sick.

It's a starry night
And everything's ok
I'm sipping my coffee
staring at the grey
the pavement is cracked
falling away
I closing my eyes
with nothing to say

It's a starry night
but the world is down
I take a nap
on the cold hard ground
If the morning comes
and I'm still around
please don't forget me
for the life you've found

It's a starry night...

I'm tired of being sick. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of being sick and tired and having to go to school way too early in the morning just to find out that classical music is boring.
mostly, I'm just tired...
and sick...
yeah...
I'm working on a clay statue that should look pretty cool when it's done. It's a throne of tenticles. It's super cool.
yeah, ok, I'm not thinking very well.
A few days ago I finished Part1 of the outline for collin's story. Which is neat. I've had a few ideas for what's going to happen in Part2, so i'll have to get started on that.
I also finally finished the label for Puma Paws. There's one minor tweak and we're good to go.
Now I just need to focus on the website.
soon now...soon I will sleep...

bah, I'm gone...

[1:32 AM] Current Song: Hell is Around the Corner - Tricky
Current Mood: exhausted...

The poet collapses now, into his chair, into his world of electronics. He sips his tea, checks his mail (the work-from-home company is a fraud, turns out), reads the news (bush is a conservative asshole, says the liberal assholes), and tries very hard to relax. Work is over. Now, finally, vacation can begin. 10 days without work. The poet almost smiles...almost. For there's still a website and a label that he's building for some people. There's still school and its insanity. There's still a novel that won't write itself. There's still a headcold that sometimes makes him sick to his stomach. There's still all that and more... but there's also bed, and sleeping. He looks forward to the sleep.

I'm hoping the rest of my vacation will prove to be relaxing. We'll just have to see.
G'night, all

[9:42 AM] Current Song: Formica Blues - Mono
Current Mood: Ick.

ick, I'm sick.

no seriously, I think I'm really sick. I got a tummy ache and a head ache and all my muscles ache and I can't think straight and all that lovely jazz...

ill me...

would've stayed in bed had I not had a test. the test itself went ok...probably gonna get a b...maybe a b-
stupid me couldn't remember which psychologist was in which field... mostly because the study guide asked for the founder and the test asked for the most influential. Rather than Watson being a behavorist, it was instead skinner...

which is great when it comes to behaviorists, cause I know them pretty well... I don't know the Gesalt guys at all...so blah...

I keep trying to write, or do something productive. But it's not working. And I mean at all... my head is so stuffed up...so blah...I'm gonna go catch an early bus and crawl back into bed...
bed is so nice...

[10:57 AM] Current Song: Nightgown of the Sullen Moon - They Might Be Giants
Current Mood: Feelin' Fine

I just wrote the summery for the first five chapters to my Adult Novel. It's not Adult as in Sexaul. It's just that I'm also working on a Kid's Novel and I need to keep the two seperate somehow. But the summery just flew out. That being said, I don't think I'm even halfway through with the first part. There's three parts total, so I've got a lot of work ahead of me. But I'm taking it slow, being steady, and just letting it write itself. That's really all I can do.

The problem is that I thought this would take me 3 hours or so, after procrastination and struggle. Instead, I got it done in 30 minutes. So now I'm sitting here and I've got lots of free time. I'm trying to decide if I should now goof off or try to get something else creative accomplished. Maybe I'll work on my website, or do up the review for Simpsons: Hit & Run I've been thinking of. We'll just have to see.

anyways, just thought I'd make a post. Posts are happy things.
see ya later, world.

[1:28 AM] Current Song: Hit Me Baby One More Time - Weezer cover of Britney Spears
Current Mood: Contented + Tired

So...
I can look at someone else's outline and have a dozen and a half ideas. But I can't get my thoughts aligned enough to work on my own story. And when I do have an idea, as I did last night, I can't seem to explain it fully. Jaimee cautioned me against having drugs play too central a theme, as one of the characters does them. Actually, two of the characters use drugs, but in niether case will Collin express much care. The point isn't about drugs. It's more about how the parents respond to it. Gah.

The worse part is that I'm just not that much in a "writing mood", so I'm not doing anything that involved writing. I played simpsons: hit and run (beat the game completely...that was dissatisfying). I ate pancakes. I downloaded some songs. I did everything but work on my story.

So why am I in such a good mood?
I don't know.
Maybe I'm not... that's a creepy thought.

regardless...
I'm going to write my own personal review of Simpsons. whichs means I need a rating system. I'll work something up...

yay, I get to sleep in tomarrow, though I still gotta work...damn them all.
anyways, I'm going to bed...
tra la la la la...

DOOD! NEW SIGNATURE!

[10:08 AM] Current Song: Broken - Lauren Hoffman
Current Mood:Jazz'n + Tired (duh)

I got to rant about nature again in class today.

I actually was more or less quiet for most of the class, listening half-heartedly as I wrote some notes about the poems I was supposed to read. People were going back to that "Nature is good, Man is evil" thing again. So I sorta decided that nothing I could say would ever actually convince people of anything. Romantic Ideals are nice because, much like Faith, they don't require reality to agree with them.

So I'm sitting there quietly, doodling, when the someone mentioned conflict. The teacher looked at me and commented that I, on monday, made mention that nature was conflict.

So I said, "Yeah, I'm just not comfortable with assuming that 'Nature' is ever a united thing. Nature is a collection of creatures that are in constant battle with each other. Every creature faces Nature. There's no unified spirit. There's just conflict."

After that, I went back to doodling.

Top Ten Chick bands That I Neglected In My First Top Ten List:
---------------------------------------------------------------
10. Suzanne Vega
9. Supreme Beings Of Leisure
8. Astrud Gilberto
7. Fleau
6. Lauren Hoffman
5. Bebel Gilberto
4. Medieaval Baebes
3. Ella Fitzgerald
2. Peggy Lee
1. Ruby
------------------------------

In my striving to collect this list, I noticed two cool facts:
1. Lauren Hoffman's now putting out albums again (she stopped for a while)
2. Astrud Gilberto put out an album last year.


so there ya have it
I'm gonna jet

tata all

[12:15 PM] dude! if you search "shiny and flammable" in google, the blog is number 1!

I just thought that was cool.
um...
that's all really. I'm just incredibly vain.
Actually, I just like the idea that my blog is actually on the web. Some part of me still believes that no matter what, the only people who will see this is...well...me...

by the way, t.A.T.U sucks...it's awful. The music is well composed, but it's poorly written and they're not that great a duet. If it weren't for the remixing that's going on, they'd be dreary and dull...

hey. let's do a top ten:

FLAMMABLE'S TOP TEN CHICK BANDS/SINGERS
(in order of least to greatest)
------------------------------------------------
10. Bjork
9. Garbage
8. Erin Mckeown
7. Amy Correia
6. Portishead
5. Zero 7
4. K's Choice
3. Beth Orton
2. Tegan & Sara
1. Emiliana Torrini
------------------------------------------------

the above list is probably not all-inclusive. I usually forget one or two bands that I really like that I just haven't listened to recently.

But anyways, procrastination aside, I still have work to do
bye bye all

[10:22 AM] I skipped class yesterday.

I shouldn't've done it, and I know that, but I also know that I would've been wasting my time to go. So either way, it's kind of a lose for me. Instead I slept in, then played computer games for a really long time. which meant that all the things I had intended on getting done, I had to put off till later. Which was stupid of me. It was stupid because Jaia had a lot of things to do, and needed my help with them. I was then torn between helping the woman I love and getting done what I needed to get done. Bad place to be. I helped her study for an hour then went to "quickly" print something out. What I thought would take 5 minutes took a full hour. This hour resided between midnight and 1am. Jaimee had been waiting for me to get done so we could continue studying, and, due to my absent mind, I completely blew her off.

I'm sorry.

And today is not looking to be any easier. I've got to read everything I need for class friday, and get the company website onto the internet, and make some more labels for the company people to approve or disapprove of. I'm also supposed to meet lissa somewhere so we can show off our fragments of novels and give advice to each other. And I'm going to help jaimee study.

The nice part is: it's 10:30 in the morning right now. I'll have lots of time to get most of it done. Just as long as I don't freak out, I should be ok.

I've got a stupid sinus cold.
I hate sinus colds.

alright, I'm out of words...

tata all

[10:07 AM] Current Song: Aria - Delerium feat. Mediaeval Baebes
Current Mood: Tired, as usual.

I didn't have time this morning to make coffee, but I thought it'd be ok since there's now a half-decent coffee-kiosk in the cafeteria. Which, sadly, was not open when I went to get my coffee. Instead, I got instant coffee from the machine that was as hot and almost had flavor. Tired, but more or less together, I walked into class to learn people's views on nature...

Nature: A summery of my humanities class today.

Nature is what exactly?
1. Nature is all things. Buildings, Cars, Trees, Plants, are all natural.
2. Nature is all things that are not human-built. Parks are natural, but playgrounds are not.
3. Nature is anything that is away from the cities. City parks are unnatural, for example, but National Parks are completely natural.
4. Nature is all things that are untouched by humans. Even parks are unnatural in this definition.

What is the point of Nature?
1. Nature is about life, and living. By being out of touch with nature, we as a people are forgetting how to really live.
2. Nature is about peace. We are the destroyers of the peace, when we destroy nature.
3. Nature is about conflict and progress through strife. We are the fulfillment of nature.
4. Nature is ours for the taking. We are the guardians and the harvesters of nature.

One hours worth of conversation summed up in 8 points.
Me myself? I don't know on the first question. To the second question, I argued for the third answer, being that I know too much biology to believe that nature is in any way peaceful or about life. Too many times in the history of the world one species has carelessly eradicated another. We are the only species that's even aware of the bigger picture. The only thing that's constant in nature is conflict. Plants struggle against each other for minerals, water, and light. Animals compete for food. Even the bacteria will happily eradicate an entire forest if it means that strain can continue to spread and grow. The entire system is based on fighting.

Our role is one of domination. We have now risen to the point where we're at the top of the hill. Now, we can either act carelessly, and destroy all of everything, or we can act responsibly, and protect those things which by necessity we destroyed before. But let's not get romantic about the area from which we have no recently emerged. The world away from civilization is unpleasent, harsh, and careless. But then, so is the world in civilization. Life itself is pretty mean to us.

But fuck it.

I'm beginning to worry about my psychology class. The teacher's cancelling class on wednesday, and his lectures cover about 2 pages of the book per class period. Which means, at the current rate, we'll be dead or at least out of school before we get to the end of chapter 2. We moved from talking about neurotransmitters to the very basics of the nervous system. Next we'll start on the brain. A lot of the information that's supposed to be on the test isn't in the book or in his lectures, so I'm probably going to end up doing a lot of online research for this class.

In other news, I'm being asked to make a website for a company. That'll be nice. The design I've done looks really good, but it's all dependent on how they see it. If they don't like it, I have to rework it. That scares me. The nice part is that these people are pretty laid back, so as long as it looks decent, they should be happy.

I'm going to meet with lissa on thursday to show of my novel. She, in turn, will be showing off hers, and we'll likely wander completely off task and not accomplish much. But in theory, we'll be reading each other's stuff and giving each other much needed feedback and support. Which is good. (grin)

I just listened to Delerium for the first time, just now. I think I need to check them out. The two songs I've so far heard have been very very good.

This chair is really uncomfortable, so I think I'm gonna boogie on home.
Except that I missed the bus...bah!

Tata everyone.

[2:28 PM] I should be working on a paper now, or putting together a CD for the PumaPaws Computer, or getting my notes ready to turn in, or something...but I'm not doing any of that

instead, I'm checking my mail, looking for walkthroughs for Simpsons H&R and basiclly wasting my time.
so why am I telling everyone all this? dunno...
just thought I should...

blah, I'm gonna go work

[10:22 AM] Current Song: Somewhere - K's Choice
Current Mood: creatively pleased

Hey, I put the archives up! (dances a happy dance)

We're doing a group presentation on Personality Disorders in Psychology. I'm doing Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In other words, I'm going to talk about me :P

Seriously, though, it's a very serious disorder that I have, and I think more people should be aware of what I go through every day of my life. It's not easy being a narcissist. It's hard...I'm really struggling (grin)

Jaimee and I had a fight. It was a good fight and a lot got resolved. Mostly I resolved to talk to her more about what I need to do with my day/life, so that we can make plans that allow for both of us to get what we need to get done done.

I'm revising my project list.

Current Projects
* Davon Creek
* Ben's Story & Pop-up Book
(needs to be done by June)
* Short Story for Folio
* Short Story for Publishers
* Q&E#6
* Bounty Hunter BESM game
(starting Saturday)

---

Projects on Hold
* Star Wars BESM campaign
(must work on before april)
* Comixa Redesign (sniffle)
* Poetry Archive Redesign (sniffle)
* Q&E compilation
* Short Story Anthology
* Poetry Anthology
* Guys In Color Conversion

So there you go. I prioritized. Not something I enjoyed. Blah.

I should have the short stories done soon. That'll cut down on my mental workload considerably. If I can get Ben's story somewhat finished, I will feel ok with working on the websites. But first I need to start it.

I haven't started it because I want it to be perfect. I don't know how to do perfect so I'm putting it off. That's bad. I need to start it.

MENTAL NOTE: NO MORE EXCUSES. I MUST START BEN'S STORY BEFORE MONDAY.

bye all

[8:45 AM] Yep, I forgot about Davon Creek.

A couple of days ago I wrote about all my goals and objectives, and somehow, I completely spaced my novel.

So Jaimee and I were talking and she said "tell me about a novel you want to write"
And I, in turn, muttered "something sci-fi" and, after a pause "maybe fantasy, yeah..."

Davon Creek is neither fantasy nor sci-fi. It's just a coming of age story. It's hopefully a lot better than most coming of age stories, which tend to describe those popular kids who have lots of friends and their biggest worry is girls and drugs. I don't like those stories much, so I'm trying to write something better. This one is about a boy, Collin, who doesn't talk much and tends to bury his thoughts in his journal. It's about a girl who dies, a girl who quits, a girl who has hope, and a pastor who's moving on. It's about Religious corruption, and Personal Faith. It's about a lot of things...mostly it's about Collin.

And for some reason, I stopped working on it a few months back... I just let it sit there. But now I'm working on it again, and it's looking even better now...

I'm really excited...

bye for now, I got to get to class

[9:57 AM] Current Song: I Like Birds - Eels
Current Mood: Happy (woah)

So yeah, so I'm on the role (roll? no, role) in my Psychology class. Not that I shouldn't be, but I was fearing that I wouldn't be for some reason. I skipped Humanities cause I was too tired to think. Instead I sat in the cafeteria & wrote a very depressing piece about a guy sitting on his porch grieving over his dead wife. It's... yeah...

I've been going crazy with perceived inactivity. I can't stand the fact that I haven't been more actively writing or webdesigning, so I worked on Comixa Tuesday morning and wrote a few songs for the kids' book I'm writing. I still feel like a slug, but at least I'm a moving slug as opposed to a sleeping one. I keep getting discouraged about the kids' book. I've never done anything this massive before. Well, not successfully (did I ever tell you about my novel that I wrote 20 pages of? or maybe the screenplay I wrote 18 pages of?). The story is akin to the Chronicles of Narnia in length and style... well except more modern and a bit less serious. It's meant to be a really fun read. I'm getting intimidated by the amount of work it requires. I made the promise & I intend on carrying it out, but still, I feel like I'm lagging.

I have too many interests and too little focus. I need more focus.
But to focus on one is to procrastinate on another. So what's worth putting off?

Current Projects:
-----------------
*Q&E issue 6 (depending on how you view it, it's either 8 or 15 months late, or isn't late at all. Waiting on submissions from people at work.)
*Q&E compilation (waiting still on Cindi to reappear so I can get her permission... I should make a small contract form saying that I will publish a compilation for the purpose of fundraising or some such...that way if someone disappears I'll at least have the form.)
*Ben's Story (wrote a song for it yesterday and started a second song)
*Ben's Pop-up book (still haven't started)
*Comixa redesign (procrastinating, mostly waiting for funds to generate for domain registration)
*Comixa comics (updated a few days ago)
*BitterJoe poetry archive (still building)
*BESM campaign - Bounty Hunters (ready to go...well...mostly)
*BESM campaign - Star Wars: Seri Baka. (procrastinating, mostly because I don't have to have it ready for a month or two)
*Short story to submit to publishers (revising)
*Short story for Folio - SLCC literary magazine. (just found out about it today)
*Short story anthology for Café Press (need more stories)

---

Older Projects:
---------------
joe&jimmy movie
poetry anthology
guys in color (eventually will combine it with comixa...eventually)

yeah, I think that's everything...
blah...
life goes on...and on and on and on...

anyways, I'm gonna go goof off playing myway games
bye everyone

[12:28 AM] Current Song: Likely Story - Lisboa
Current Mood: Tired (as usual)


Blah.

I just read selections from "I, Rigoberta Menchu" which is a tale composed by a Quiche woman in Guatemala. The book itself doesn't really offend me, though there are places where she says things that she really couldn't know and doesn't explain how she knows them. Things that happen out of her sight and such like that. The real problem is that all the articles about her relish in pointing out that the white-man came to Mexico and then the death began...

Says who?

Seriously, at what point did white guys become the only ones who were violent? Before the white guys got to the Americas, the Aztecs were doing things that were much more horrendous. Things along the lines of killing people and wearing their skins as capes. So I'm sorry if I don't buy the "white guys brought war" idea. Just because a culture is unable to write things down does not mean they were automatically at peace with everyone. All people, everywhere, are capable of war. White guys didn't bring war or murder to the area. They only brought the technology which made the fights a lot more one sided than they used to be.

We're all looking for a scapegoat because, in the end, we don't want to admit how evil we're capable of being.

'night all

[9:55 AM] Current Song: Unemployed in Summertime - Emiliana Torrini
Current Mood: Tired...

I don't know what happened to me last night. I watched Henry V with my dad and then went home and went to bed and had violent dreams. Pleasantly violent dreams.

In the first, a my brothers and some friends (including my fiance) were going down to Vegas, and the bum who used to live in my attic asked to come along. We told him no, at which point he started to cry. We went down to Vegas, and somehow everyone got split up. That's when the bad guys started appearing. I don't know if they were gangsters or what, but there were a bunch of bad guys who were out to get us. I started out with a pistol, but soon I killed someone and got my hands on their auto-rifle. After that, there was a lot of killing from me to them. People died. Gloriously, people died.

The second dream started out innocently enough. The bookstore that I work at opened a gas station and one of my co-workers worked there a lot. I went into it and met up with him, and he showed me how his family was planning on doing some reconstruction on this road. We were all looking at this road, when I realised I knew his mother from somewhere. That's when it hit me: She was famous. I don't remember exactly who she was or what made her famous. Just that she was. So anyways, I go back to their house, and there I'm introduced to this guy who's her partner/lover. He's a kind old man who's not so sure of himself. There's a knock on the door, and this guy from one of the big network stations comes in, asking if the old man knows anybody famous they can do an exposé on. The old man nods and says, "yeah, I know someone."... so I go over to him ask him quietly if he means my friend's mom. He doesn't reply so I hit him in the stomach and when he collapses I climb on top of him and put a pistol in his mouth. Then, patiently, I ask him again if he means her. He nods, ashamed, and I stand up and tell him that he knows what he's thinking is wrong. He nods again, and won't look at me (though thinking about it, I'm not sure I'd look at me either all things considered), so I go back to the guy from the big network station and tell him to get out and not come back. He does so, and quickly.

The third dream was through and through an action flick. I was a special agent who was aboard this flying cargo carrier. I had no memory to speak of, and all I really know was that there were people there who were under the influence of a mind-control drug. The drug itself made their eyes glow and enchanced their reflexes and strength dramatically. Unfortunately for them, I was all that and more. I fought them all, at first alone, but then with help of a crack unit of Marines led by a hot chick. I became a wild card in a battle between the Marines and the bad guys. They decided that I was as good as disposable and so sent me in as part of the team to take out the bad guys base on this island. Appearantly, the drug either came from or turned people into giant purple tentacle creatures. Either way, they were there, defending the island and making life for us all in all unpleasant. At this point, for reasons I can't explain, I saw the head badguy standing inside the fortress staring out at the battlefield. Behind him a Terminator Robot was being destroyed by the tentacles, and he was philosophizing about how it was "the last of things that were" and "just another technology that will fall." Cut back to me and the team of Marines and the hotchick gets hit and goes down. Me and three others surround her and refuse to go until she stands up. She lays there for a while, begging for us to leave her, and we refuse... finally, she pulls herself to her feet, looks at me and mutters...

and there, with a screaming of the alarm, the dream collapsed...

I'm beginning to wonder about myself, as I woke up very happy. I was actually giddy about the sheer violence of my dreams. maybe it's a sign that I've got too much aggression that needs venting...I don't know...

I went to humanities and learned that I should've read about St.Augustine's Confession and Mother Teresa's Autobiography. The sheet I had only said "Confession" and "Autobiography" and listed page numbers for a book I don't have..

so I sat there, supporting my head with my hand and tried very hard to pay attention. We tried to define sin today... and it's hard to define anything because we're given no universal guidelines. Every situation can be argued and the Moral Relativists try to say, then, that you can't say right and wrong... I think the entire point of life is in trying to answer questions like "what is right and wrong", and to say there is no dominant truth is selling yourself short. In reality, the truth about right and wrong is that only God gets to know for sure. The rest of us go from what we believe. But it's better to believe in some form of morality than none at all. That's just my PoV.

Oh well....Psychology was ok, we talked about Gender Roles. One guy wanted to say that it's ok for everyone to just fuck. He didn't have a good answer when it came to pregnancy or disease. He just sorta sputtered and didn't reply. Is sexuality Nature or Nurture? I think the desire to fuck and reproduce is Nature. The limits we place on who we fuck and why is purely Nurture. Or, to put it another way: We all have the capacity to fuck everything that moves, boys and girls alike. Where we differ is that girls have much more serious consequences to their fucking around and tend to think about that more than guys do. This leads to a much more catious approach to sexuality. Society (which is built on the collective thoughts of people) is then influenced by this and as such condemns the girls pretty strongly for being irresponsible. Just because Nurture says you shouldn't fuck around, that doesn't mean it's a bad idea.

oh, and just so we're clear, there guy-sluts are just as bad as the chick kind.

ok... I'm done ranting and raving and raving...
I'm going to update Comixa sometime in the next few days. My friend Lissa's given me some stuff and I've got some stuff to post, so...yeah...

tata